S = Specific: this helps us to
focus our efforts and clearly
define what we are going to do.
It's the What (you will do), Why
(are you doing it), and How (you
will do it)?
M = Measurable: when you
measure your progress, you
stay on track, reach your target
dates, and experience the
exhilaration of achievement that
spurs you on to continued effort
required to reach your goals.
For me, this means writing 1
newsletter a month.
A = Attainable: goals too far
out of reach will most likely
discourage us. Instead, a goal
needs to stretch you slightly so
that you feel you can do it and
that it will require a real
commitment from you.
R = Realistic: this means
"do-able." It means that the goal
will not have requirements
beyond your limitations. Like
being 5'6" and desiring to be a
NBA center. However, a goal
that might not seem realistic
now, might be attainable through
the completion of a series of
short term goals. Some financial
goals might fall into this category
T = Timely: Set a timeframe for
the goal. Putting an end point on
your goal gives you a clear
target to work towards. You are
not a failure if you miss the
target date; you can re-adjust.
Circumstances change.
Setting some specific goals with
deadlines might be challenging
for some of us. For me, I think it
has been the
fear of failure
which has lead me in my history
of vagueness and generality.
This year, I hope to face this
fear head on. Actually, I'm doing
it  each month as I write.
Whatever has held you back
too? Let's face it together.

Brothers, what's one thing that
you would like to picture
improved in your marriage by
the end of this 2006 year?
One example could be:
- To spend more time together.
~ How much more?
~ How often and when?
~ What would you like to do?
~ What about your wife?
~ What would you talk about?     
~ Calendar the dates!
~ If needed, get a babysitter.

For a good resource to explore
more ideas, please visit
You'll find many printer-friendly
articles on communication,
finances, family issues, romantic
ideas, and more.

Whatever you picture for this
year, I encourage you to be as
SMART as possible! And, I pray
that by the end of 2006, we all
would see our goals realized or
at least many steps closer to
that reality.

Bless your marriage,
Brother Willie Quan
“Goals determine what
you're going to be.”
~ Julius Erving (Dr. J.)
NBA Hall of Famer
As I write this month's BYM
Letter, I am confronting a weak
area in my life--the area of goal
setting. My style has been to just
go with the flow and maintain life
on a 'cruise control' mode. Not
that this is all together bad or
negative, but it has definitely
slowed the pace in which
dreams and desires are realized.

This month, brothers, I want to
encourage us all to develop a
goal or two for our marriages.
Many of us probably have goals
in other areas of our lives--work,
career, financial, fitness, diet,
etc. But have you thought about  
setting any goals for your
marriage? If you have, keep it
up! If not,
I want to encourage
you to have at least one by the
end of the month.

A problem that I had with 'goal
setting' was that I have not been
specific nor did I attach any time
lines to my 'goals.' So in fact,
these weren't goals at all, but
only vague generalities of mere
hopes and wishes. Sounding
something like this, "someday,
I'll...", or "I hope that..."

Now, I'm trying to be
about my goals. With
goals we can better clarify,
calendar, and complete them.
SMART was excerpted from:
© 2006 BlessYourMarriage.com
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Bless Your Marriage Letters                      Issue 3                                  March  2006
Bless Your Marriage Letters                      Issue 3                                  March  2006