slight incremental changes
(Heartshifts) towards our desired
goal. As we accomplish our Two
Degree changes, we have a
sense of victory. Celebrate that
victory, and then build on it! This
sense of accomplishment
propels us toward the next Two
Degree change. It is through a
series of these Heartshifts that
we reach our big goal over a
period of time and with a pile of
smaller victories.  

So what does this look like?
Let's say you want to improve
your conflict resolution skills with
your spouse. If you apply Two
Degree changes, the series of
Heartshifts might include the
following:

Heartshift #1: begin praying 5
minutes for your spouse’s needs
once a week for one month.
Heartshift #2: then pray 10
minutes for your spouse’s needs
twice week for the next month.
Heartshift #3: begin reading a
book on conflict resolution (first
by yourself).
Heartshift #4: then invite your
spouse to read the book with
you (each on your own).
Heartshift #5: discuss each
chapter.
Heartshift #6: practice applying
some of what you two are
learning in the book (start with
something on the easier side).
Heartshift #7: ask yourself what
in the conflict you are
responsible for and take
ownership for it.
Heartshift #8: you might have a
hard time verbalizing the conflict,
then practice writing it down first.
Heartshift #9: you might have a
hard time expressing your
emotions, then try getting your
emotions out on paper as well.
Heartshift #10: then practice
sharing what you’ve written with
your spouse.

Each heartshift above might
take a month or two. Do you
think conflict resolution with your
spouse would be improved in a
year from now?

Now, take a moment and think of
an area you want to make a
Heartshift in. You might even
have it as a resolution already!

Brothers, in closing, I'd like to
pray a blessing over you for this
2007 year.
"As you take steps
toward change, may you sense
God's nearness and experience
God's power. May His grace and
mercy be real to you. May you
be gracious upon yourself and
others. May God bless you with
courage and endurance in the
face of every challenge. May
God bless you as a man to rise
up in all that He has called you
to. May God bless you as a
husband, a father, and a son.
May God bless you to know the
love of His father heart. I pray
that this would be a year of
victory for you. Amen."

Bless your marriage,
      Brother Willie Quan
“...Precept upon precept;
line upon line...”
~ Isaiah 28:10
Happy New Year friends! To kick
off the year, this month we’ll be
looking at change. Any of you
make any resolutions for the
New Year? If so, how it’s going
so far?

I am sure that most, if not all, of
us have experienced the
disappointment of breaking our
resolutions or failing to
accomplish a desired change.
Breaking habits and establishing
new ones is a hard thing to do.
This is especially difficult in our
microwave “I want things in an
instant” generation.

I’d like to introduce a concept
called the Two Degree change
(or difference). It comes from Dr.
John Trent’s book
Heartshift. In
his summary, he says “For many
people, change is considered as
needing to make a one hundred
and eighty degree change—a
feat so impossible that they give
up or never even begin. Yet two
degree changes in our spiritual
life, our marriage or parenting,
and even our health can lead us
closer to God’s heart and our
loved ones. Making one "Two
Degree change" towards the
Lord or your loved one, can
begin moving you in a positive,
freeing, fulfilling direction.”

The Two Degree change is
about making a series of
© 2007 BlessYourMarriage.com
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Bless Your Marriage Letters                     Issue 13                               January 2007
THE B.Y.M. LETTERS
THE B.Y.M. LETTERS
Bless Your Marriage Letters                     Issue 13                               January 2007